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| WARNING!!
The article about the Lifestyles Convention deals with adult subject matter and,
although there is no explicit or pornographic language, it may not be
appropriate for all readers. Free
your mind at the Lifestyles Convention It was another one
of those late nights that publishers can never seem to avoid. It was 4 a.m. and
I had been awake for nearly 24 hours. It had already been a long day twice and there
was no end in sight. Slaving away over the computer, it was time to do monthly assignments. It went
something like this: "Oh-Dark-Thirty"
The alarm sounded at
4 a.m. and with blurry eyes and little knowledge of what we were getting into, I
climbed into the car and headed for Mickie's. I was surprised to find her
wide-awake. She never struck me as a day person, but then it was still dark. She must have slept better than
I did. In fact she almost seemed chipper when I arrived at her house.
Mickie: Couldn't
sleep all night. I'm not sure if I was excited or anxious, but I was ready. I
got in the car and Dave looked like morning came way too soon.
Mickie and I set out
for Vegas long before the sun came up. As we drove across the desert from Los Angeles we had plenty of time to discuss our expectations of a convention that
neither of us had ever attended. We had been over the itinerary and you can say that we were both
slightly apprehensive. Press junkets are always interesting, but for this one Mickie and I had an additional
problem. In order to experience the Lifestyles Convention first hand, we were going to have to pose
as man and wife. Being
married, I knew that I could fake it as well as the next guy, but Mickie on the
other hand, you were never sure who she was going to appear with. Perhaps Mickie was better suited for this
convention than I had realized!
Mickie: We arrive in
Vegas, one of the cities that never sleep. Sounds like a perfect getaway for me,
except for one tiny itty bitty thing-- Dave and I are supposed to be posing as a
couple for the convention, since it is a "couple's only" event. I
guess I'll get over this, but if he expects me to rub his feet tonight, he's
outta luck.
As we stepped away
from the registration desk, it was clear that we had stepped right into a world
where the threat of reality didn't exist. This was a world where many of the sexual
and social paradigms of everyday life simply didn't apply. The women were dressed casually and often
erotically. It was a world where a person's sexuality was celebrated, not repressed. We were beginning to
understand what Jack London was talking about.
Our first
impressions? How about that little blonde walking past in the green see-through
top and matching tap pants. That was impressive, but not nearly as impressive as her
utter comfort in her attire, as well as the almost lack of reaction from everyone in visual range. The few
comments that she did receive were of admiration. She was confident and that was the quality that made
her even more attractive. But perhaps the most impressive thing about this lovely creature was
that, like us, she was heading for the first seminar of the morning, "Women Who Seek Gang Bangs: A
Nation Wide Study" presented by Joan Dixon, PhD and Dwight Dixon, PhD.
Mickie: Dave was
looking hard to find someone dressed provocatively, but it looked like a bunch
of way too normal people to me. I had gone casual in jeans and a red T-shirt, so I
blended in perfectly. Okay, okay, there were a few women who were dressed in what could be considered a
little wild, but no more than I've seen in any clubs in Hollywood, or casinos in
Vegas for that matter.
"Miss Congeniality" It's 9:30 a.m., and
as Mickie and I settle into ours seats, we hear, “Welcome to 'Women Who Seek
Gang Bangs: A Nation Wide Study'.” Am I in the right room? Did I bring
the right person? What twist of has fate brought me to another state with a woman other than my wife to hear a
lecture on women who enjoy sex with three or more men at a time? I’m concerned and should be.
I think Mickie was taking notes!
Mickie: All the way
here Dave was saying it was important for us to get to the first lecture. As we
sat in the meeting room, I looked at him and whispered, "You said this was what?!
Gangbangs and the women who love them? Geez, Dave, I need some coffee for this first thing in the
morning."
It turned out to be
an interesting lecture. The subject was presented maturely and I could
understand why someone would want to study this topic. It may only apply to what one may
consider a sub-culture in our prudish nation, but it seemed to be a happy one.
So have we learned
from our lecture? Yes, at this convention the only appropriate pseudonym
for Miss Congeniality would be slut. Now it’s easy to misconstrue that as an
offensive statement or even an insult, but it’s not. As I had suggested earlier, the sexual and social
paradigms of everyday life simply didn't apply here. To better clarify I will take my assertion a step further and
add, the only appropriate pseudonym for slut would be queen. And here, those who might be called
sluts in the outside world are treated as queens!
Mickie: Since Dave
and I were first-timers to the convention; we decided that we had better brush
up on our etiquette. The next stop for us was "Systemic Sexuality: An
Introduction to Swinging" with TL and Suzi Wahl. Again, the topic was
presented in a very mature manner. The basic idea was you don't have to do
anything you don't feel comfortable with and you must always respect other
people's feelings. Sounds about right for most things in life.
“Swinging 101” Welcome to the land
of the newbie. We were learning that these seminars were well attended and
this one was no different. I thought that I would feel a bit awkward walking
into this workshop because by default you are announcing to the “world” that you are new to this lifestyle
and for the most part may not have a clue. Like the other seminars, I felt completely at home here.
No funny looks or paranoid couples, just a sea of smiling faces. It was comforting to know we were not alone
with our newness.
TL and Suzi Wahl
conducted the lecture. They did a great job answering some of the more
awkward questions and offered a wealth of information for the first-time explorer.
In future articles we expect to be hearing more from this couple.
And now, it’s time
for our first break of the day. We’ve spent most of our time learning
and haven’t yet explored and mingled with our other new found friends. Where do you think
Mickie’s first stop was?
"Tool Time" Mickie: This bazaar
is a blast! There's tons of clothing, a terrific round bed, a nice selection of
whips and floggers and all kinds of things. I finally settle on a terrific nightgown of
black lace with silver highlights. It's cut low and slit high and flows
beautifully-- I'll wear it tonight under my leather bodice for the evening's
event, "A Very Naughty Nightie Dance Party." I also can't resist a
black leather paddle-type flogger-- it will go great with my outfit!
Let me just say,
this place had some stuff! Let your imagination run wild! One of the
more impressive items for sale was the “Drilldo”. I won’t explain it, nor should I
have to. Suffice it to say that lubrication would be the prime concern of every woman. And judging from the
demonstration video… Never mind, some places you really shouldn't go!
Although our break
was several hours long, we never seemed to find the time to eat. There was
so much to see and do that, before we knew it, it was time for our next seminar.
“I’ve been a bad boy…” "Erotic
Spanking: A Multidimensional Perspective" with Mark Ostrom PhD was a bit
more clinical than I expected. Come to think of it, I don’t know what I
expected. Obviously there is more to this than just smacking someone
around, I could get my head around the pleasure aspects too, but I wasn’t
certain what angle Ostrom would use to approach the topic. Since he was a PhD,
the clinical method was best.
Mickie: "Erotic
Spanking" was presented like a formal college lecture. We learned the
history of spanking, technique and dos and don'ts. An intense-looking muscular man and I
got into a discussion about S&M (sadism/masochism) with the Ostrom. It seemed that the Ostrom
didn't consider spanking to be in the genre of S&M, while we did. I guess
it's all a matter of perspective.
This was also the
place we met Malcolm Arnold. Tall, dark and muscular… Hey, why am I
describing his looks? Mickie was the one squealing about him. In fact, I
haven’t heard the end of him since we first met the guy. He had a knack
of looking into a person’s eyes when you spoke that left both of us wondering
which of us he was more interested in. I had little doubt that if Mickie
had her way we would be running into him again.
"March of the wooden soldiers" It was time for
"A Very Naughty Nightie Dance Party" or, simply put, the lingerie
ball. We set out. Luck of the draw, our room was on the far side of the hotel,
away from the dance. Down the hall, through the casino, it wasn't long before we
had attracted attention. The whispers and pointing had started. I leaned over
and whispered into Mickie's ear, "I wonder if Stephen Mason (Public
Relations) is pulling a joke on us!" She smirked, "It's probably a
cruel trick that they play on the media every year." The longer we walked, the more obvious it became that we were the only ones dressed for the
occasion. We began to laugh. In my bathrobe and slippers, I looked like I was heading for the pool,
but in her cape, Mickie looked totally Goth.
Mickie: Dave and I
are the only "strangely" dressed people marching through the casino.
People may think that Dave, dressed in a robe and slippers, can't find the pool or his
room, but I'm sure I look creepy in my big black cape, fishnet stockings and
studded red platform heels. I'm not really bothered by the attention, I'm just
nervous that we've been hoaxed into dressing this way. If it pans out that just
the media is in lingerie, I know I'll just laugh and go on to enjoy the evening,
but how will Dave react??
Out of the casino
and down the long walkway over the pool. There were plenty of people, but we
still hadn't spotted anyone else dressed even remotely like us. By this time, we were
really laughing. If this was a joke, we were going to revel in it. Through the bar and down the remaining
length of corridor, the black curtain was in sight. Finally the moment of truth, as we pass through the
curtain we smile. We have found our people!
Mickie: Through the
curtain and here we are-- home at last. It hasn't been a joke; we are part of
the group. We step into the ballroom and I feel immediately comfortable. Everyone is
having fun. There's a large crowd dancing and others milling around chatting with people. We meet a
lovely couple, Ricky and Lisa, from Kentucky. Lisa is in a white camisole and has a beautiful smile.
Ricky is in pajama bottoms and is a little more reserved. It turns out that they're first-timers too and
they're having a great time.
A little later, the
intense guy from "Erotic Spanking" walks by and admires my leather
bodice. He stops to tell us about his class, "Erotic Candle/Wax Play," tomorrow and
looks deep into Dave's eyes as he speaks. I learn that his name is Malcolm mmm.... I could have a good dream about
him. When Malcolm leaves, Dave says that he thinks the guy was hitting on him. "Why
do you think that?" I ask. "After all, he's teaching a candle class, he was wearing a leather vest
with leather shorts and he's from San Francisco?" Dave glares at me. Really, Dave, I still think he is just
one of those people who when he's talking to you, you have his total attention. And if that doesn't make you
feel better, at least he's very good looking.
My memories of the
dance? Let me just say two words: Mal-Colm. There he was in his
black leather vest and skintight black short shorts. And the women? Some wore
virtually nothing, but most wore slightly more than nothing. It was a great visual and a great time!
Mickie: Throughout
the dance, one thing gets my attention-- the vibe. It seemed more like a high
school dance or perhaps even an office party. Everyone was wandering around in various
states of dress, depending on the lingerie they selected, but there wasn't any
groping or staring or anything rude. I get treated worse on stage at some of the
clubs I frequent in Hollywood! Miss Manners would have been impressed. The group
was there to have fun and we did.
After the dance, we go back to the room and change for the pool soiree. Dave and I lay down on lounge chairs at the edge of the sparkling blue water and watch people swim and laugh. What's that?! Dave's snoring; I think it's time to go. I poke him in the ribs and we return to the room to crash. Instead of sleeping right away, we talk and talk and talk about what we've learned and what we plan to do tomorrow. Good night! Day
Two
Morning comes and it
just doesn’t seem fair. The last thing I remember was lying in my bed
and chatting with Mickie. Oh yeah, and there was the sound of the woman next door.
I swear they were moving furniture over there. I don’t know how many people were in there, but
they were making use of every inch of that room. I think I passed out just
before 3 a.m. Now it’s 7:30 a.m. and Mickie is sitting out on the
balcony in her underwear. Did I miss something?
Mickie: Nothing like
greeting the morning with a cool glass of water while sitting on a balcony
overlooking a picturesque garden. It's so private that I didn't even have to get
dressed-- except for my undies, gotta have some modesty. So relaxing... until a
pesky persistent hummingbird decides to yell at me. I think I'm sitting to close
to his tree or something. Don't you have something better to do? Go find some
nectar or a friend you nasty critter. Maybe you're just not a morning person--
Dave sure isn't. I think I'll go and jump up and down on his bed until he wakes
up!
“S&M with Nina” Mickie: Is it really
ever too early for S&M? Maybe. 9:30 a.m. came quickly today and I wasn't
quite awake enough. Then Nina Hartley walked in. She looked great, long blond hair, a petite
figure and long legs. She and Ernest Greene (of Taboo magazine fame) led "S&M and Romance:
What Every Swinger Should Know." The talk was straightforward and basic.
Hartley and Greene covered topics such as the proper time and place for a
"scene" to how to bring up the idea to your partner. We learned that
this lifestyle is much more prevalent than most people think. The other
surprising element is that it is a lifestyle that draws many intellectuals. It
is often said that the most powerful sex organ humans have is their mind and I
have to agree.
“The Toy Box” Mickie: I
don't want you to take this the wrong way, but I wish that this talk, "Toy
Time! Tool Time with a Twist'' by Terri Galietta, had been presented in my
college Human Sexuality class, it could've helped a lot of people. For a short
time, I worked a day job in the medical field, and I learned that people would
do a lot of strange things for sexual pleasure. Most of the things they do are
because they are ignorant of what damage they can do to themselves or don't
think clearly while in the throes of passion. The class covered serious stuff,
such as condoms and safe sex, as well as fun stuff, adult toys. Galietta
explained which toys could actually hurt you because of their poor manufacturing
and which toys were better. She also explained how to care for the items, how to
clean them properly and avoid bacteria or disease. This sounds very dull and
clinical, but it really wasn't. An earth-mother type, Galietta, was a hoot-- she
should take her act on the road. Everything was presented clearly and sliced
with humor, the perfect way to approach this topic.
After Galietta's
lecture, we have an opportunity to purchase some of her wares. On the table I
spy a clear acrylic dildo, it's so beautifully made that it could be a work of
art. The women are clamoring to get at it, but I'm in front and something in me
says, "Buy it." So I do. It's not like I need one. I think I'll take
it home and put it on the coffee table in my living room-- now that should spark
a conversation. And if one of my dates gets too fresh, I'll chase him out the
door with it!
"Tool Time Again" Time for us to make
purchases for our loved ones. They have been very generous in allowing
Mickie and I on this little adventure. Yes, we owe them, but I think we would
rather they could’ve joined us. Off we go to the
bizarre. The day before we both spotted a selection of toys that piqued
our interest. As we walk around, it's not uncommon to see women trying on clothes right on the
sales floor. There are changing rooms provided for the more modest, but this was a swinger’s
convention.
Mickie: I take
this last opportunity through the marketplace to roll around on the round bed,
try out the "massage" table, play with the whips and just enjoy having
some time off. We wander through the art gallery and I find several works that I
like, but can't afford today. The sculptures are wonderful and detailed; there
is a painting for every taste and the photographs are intriguing.
As we continue
through the bazaar aisles, I spot Nina Hartley. We wanted to get a photo of her
for DaBelly. Nina's busy talking to a couple who are considering bringing another
women into their relationship. I stand quietly nearby. "Can she feel your breasts?"
Nina asks. Surprised, I say, "Okay." The woman tentatively places her hands on my chest. "Really feel them,"
Nina says as she gently guides the woman's hands which slide slowly under my shirt. They discuss my attributes as
though I'm not there. I look over at Dave and he's laughing. Nina explains that it was important for the
woman to feel my breasts, as they are natural rather than enhanced by silicone. After the couple
leaves, I realize that Nina, who is seated on a table, has wrapped her legs around me and crossed her ankles.
I turn to her and say, "Well? It's only fair." She says, "Of course." And there we
are, in the middle of the busy marketplace, feeling each other up. What can I say? I always wondered what enhanced breasts
felt like and now I know. Calm down-- they're only breasts. We pose for Dave and chat for a minute.
Then Nina releases me to more adventures.
As we walked away
from Nina, Mickie turned to me and gushed, “I made out with Nina Hartley right
here on the bazaar floor! Now I can put that on my resume!” A little
kissing, a little feeling… It was nothing that any of Mickie’s friends
haven’t come to expect from her!
"Candle in the Wind" Our last seminar!
During the course of the day, Mickie and I had debated the possibility of
leaving early. I had high hopes of getting back to Los Angeles before midnight, but it would
seem that Mickie had bigger plans. All day long she brought up Malcolm and
his candle class. Armed with her insider knowledge that he would be
looking for an assistant, I had the feeling that she planned on volunteering.
Mickie: Dave and I
sit in the front row of "Erotic Candle/Wax Play" with Malcolm Arnold.
I keep teasing him that he should be the model, after all Malcolm liked him
best-- ha ha ha! Arnold proves to be very professional. He has a beautiful young
woman lay on the table and coats her naked body with dripping candle wax as he
explains how a couple can explore their trust with each other and learn to
become closer through this erotic play. As Arnold speaks, he keeps rubbing
her tummy, her cheek and her leg. His hand never strays from her long and
Arnold keeps his model relaxed throughout the talk. He explains the proper
candles to use, different techniques and how to avoid burning each other. It's
actually quite interesting and, like Malcolm, very intense.
“On the Road Again” Mickie: We hit the
road with a sigh. It would've been nice to stay for the dance that night, but
Dave and I both had other obligations. I feel enlightened and impressed. The convention
wasn't anything like I thought it would be and, yet, everything I did. People should be comfortable
with themselves and their sexuality. They should also treat others with respect and maturity, as people
did here. It wasn't some wild swinging orgy, it was educational and made you want to talk more about your
inner feelings and discover more about yourself. It was definitely an event that
couples should attend at least once so that they can learn how to be more open
with each other. Most of all, it was fun. I'll be marking my calendar for next
year.
I'm left with a
sense of déjà vu. It's 4:50 a.m. and, again, I've been awake almost 24 hours.
I'm slaving over my computer and it's another continuation of a long day. I made it home and
things are back to normal, well almost. During our last walk through the convention floor a guy
handed me a viagra-type drug that he claimed was all natural and “would keep me up” all night. Let’s just
say that he hit the nail right on the head! I mean the short-term results were nice, but it left me wide-awake
when I really needed some shuteye. On this trip, I think Mickie and I both had
our epiphanies. It was refreshing to enter an environment filled with
sexuality yet without sexual tensions. A reality where people weren’t
afraid to let their inner self out for the briefest of moments and take a walk
on the wild side. I enjoyed meeting Malcolm, Ricky and Lisa and all the
others. And, although Malcolm has become a point of teasing between Mickie
and I, it is done with affection. I am not a homophobe and I find a sense
of irony in not knowing his orientation. Mickie did make a point that I
will stand with, “It’s all right if a man is going to find you attractive,
at least he’s a good looking man!”
Editor's
note: Please watch DaBelly.com for upcoming interviews with some of the
lecturers from the Lifestyles Convention. We will update these stories on a
bi-monthly basis. |